This out the Blue

How did i end up here, after months of being apart from Lamar we got back together, he have change alot and is still changing. I can't believe i am putting up with the stuff i am " I feel like i'm in my first relationship all over again" i'm crazy or maybe this is the closer i needed. We both are going thru some hard times, but i'm not the one meeting people off a4a every chance i get, i'm not the one saying i'm someone else or with someone and really doing something different. I am the one who need to make a change. We going on 4months back together and i just can't believe i really thought that me and Lamar could be together but that's how i feel going in all my relationships and that's why most of my relationships ended on my term because people change and a change is not always good to me. The love is here and we have good times but i feel like i'm with someone i just met. i do not know this person who lay beside me every night. In other news this is the first time ever in less you want to count the odd jobs "i'll call them that even tho i did normal jobs " since i was a teen that i haven't been working steady since i was 18 maybe going one month without a job but it's now been 13 months since i quit burger King. I need a job i have court in a few weeks and with court you always have to pay something. I been doing some edits to my book, i even edit the pages i post on my blogs maybe i should re- post those pages because it's all going to be edit again. I do feel good about my book just have to start making my own deadlines because it's been 5 years since i first started i can finish the book at anytime because i'm going to at less come out with two follow ups after "Untitled Life" there would be "titled" and then i wanted to do a story about Novaj Texan, who is apart of me because he lives in me. Well i'm about to watch the Wendy Williams show catch u later :)